


everything

by emilia_kaisa



Category: New Blood (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Just enjoy, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Multiple, This is a mess tbh, i guess, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 12:04:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10662219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: It could be a fact that Rash was turning him into a romantic sap, but to be honest, Stefan didn’t care that much. He liked that. He liked everything about Rash and what was he making him feel.And that feeling, he thought, was called love.God, he was such a sap. He hated that.(He didn’t hate that at all.)





	everything

**Author's Note:**

> I was drunk. 
> 
> (When you get to the end you should totally listen to Everything by City of the sun.)  
> (Dedicated to Bettina, I'm sorry it's such a mess.)

 

**i.**

The thing was, Stefan was really jealous. He didn’t even try to convince himself othervise, that would be just pointless. So there he was, clutching his beer glass in one hand and staring at an attractive blonde hitting on Rash by a bar. Even from his spot Stefan could see interest in her eyes and he didn’t like it at all. But what was even worse, Rash seemed to enjoy the conversation as well, waiting for a bartender to bring him his beers.

Stefan really wished there was some beer left in his glass, because he felt awfully sober and he wasn’t able to handle Rash flirting while not drunk.

He didn’t even try to pretend that it was all because they were just friends. Roommates. Whatever. Anyway, the thing was, that Stefan was totally smitten. Hopelessly and ridiculously kinda- in- love. Or rather, very- much- in- love. And of course, he hadn’t told Rash. And he probably wouldn’t, because it was very obvious straight like an American highway. So, no chance in that.

Stefan knew that he should probably move out. Stop breaking his heart everyday, but he couln’t bring himself to do that. He couldn’t decide what would be harder, still seeing him everyday (sometimes just in a towel, Lord give him strength) or not seeing him everyday. For now, the second option seemed to be more scary than the first one.

Rash finally stopped chatting with the blonde and headed back to their table, beers in his hand and smile on his face.

‘Sorry it took so long.’ he said, sitting down in front of Stefan.

Usually Stefan would make a snarky comment about him and lovely ladies hitting on him. Usually Stefan would be all funny and teasing, like a good buddy and flatmate. But now all he could do was just to smile and take a big gulp of his beer.

‘Sure, no problem. It’s crazy crowded in here.’

‘Yeah, lot of people.’ Rash agreed and then added easily ‘Maybe you could meet someone new here.’

Stefan almost choked on his beer at these words.

‘Excu... what?’

Rash sent him unipressed look, but Stefan could see a slight smirk playing on his lips.

‘I haven’t seen you with anyone since forever. Well, except my sister, but I’m really hoping you’re not interested in my sister...’

‘No, no. Not interested. No romantic feelings.’ Stefan said quickly. God, he missed his crush on Leila so much. It was easy and not problematic, and he could use something like that right now.

‘Great.’ Rash grinned and took a sip of his beer ‘So, it’s only two of us tonight then?’

‘Yeah.’ Stefan nodded, trying his best not to look at Rash’s lips ‘Just the two of us.’

 

**ii.**

Stefan really didn’t think he could still keep on doing this.

He’s feelings were getting out of control and it was harder and harder each day to pretend in front of Rash that everything was okay. So he started to spend more and more time at work or in his room, where he could stare at the ceiling.

He wished he could just fall out of love. But at the same time he would feel as if he was missing a part of himself. He barely could remember how he had felt about Rash before all of that. It wasn’t love at first sight, he was sure of that, and that seemed strangely funny for him now.

 

It was hard to tell what Stefan loved the most about Rash.

Maybe it was his smile, sometimes so snarky and ironic, and sometimes just warm and radiant like the sun.

Maybe it was his character, so strong and yet so full of compassion.

Maybe it was the eyes, warm as a sunny autumn afternoon.

It could be a fact that Rash was turning him into a romantic sap, but to be honest, Stefan didn’t care that much. He liked that. He liked everything about Rash and what was he making him feel.

And that feeling, he thought, was called love.

God, he was such a sap. He hated that.

(He didn’t hate that at all.)

 

* * *

 

**i.**

The girl was pretty attractive, Rash had to admit that. She had long blonde hair and nice face, and she looked really classy, comparing to other girls in the bar. On some other day Rash would happily let the conversation flow and enjoy the company. He knew that Stefan wouldn’t mind but he just wasn’t feeling like flirting too much. And he didn’t want Stefan to sit at the table all by himself.

Not that he cared about Stefan’s well- being or something like that. Stefan was loud and annoying, and Rash was pretty sure he was insulting him in Polish all the time. He was also clever, funny and kind, but Rash chose focuse on his obvious flaws. Like, he wasn’t cleaning dishes, letting them pile up in a sink. Oh, and he was totally irresponsible.

Rash glared over his shoulder and saw Stefan staring at the bottom of his glass; Rash couldn’t hold back an impression that the Pole looked a bit sad, and that thought made him feel uneasy. He quickly excused himself, grabbed his beers and headed back to their table.

‘Sorry it took so long.’ he explained quickly, but as predicted, Stefan didn’t mind at all. He just attached his mouth to the glass immediately, drinking as if he was dying of thirst.

Suddenly Rash was striked with a thought that could explain Stefan’s a bit weird behaviour.

‘Maybe you could meet someone new.’ he said. He meant that, but when he said that he felt uneasy, as if it would be something wrong, Stefan meeting someone. Which was ridiculous. Apparently his friend thought that too because he almost spit out his drink.

‘What?’

He looked almost offended and Rash somehow felt a whole lot lighter. Weird. Whatever.

‘I haven’t seen you with anyone since forever.’ he noticed, feeling in a mood to tease him a little ‘Well, except my sister, but I’m really hoping you’re not interested in my sister...’

To be honest, the idea of Stefan and Leila being together wasn’t that awful. Of course it was his big brother’s duty to believe that no one was good enough for his little sister. But the thing was, that Stefan was good enough. Wait. What. His beer had to be spiked or something because there was no way he could think that way.

‘No, no. Not interested. No romantic feelings.’ Stefan said quickly and Rash couldn’t help but feel relieved. Now he wouldn’t have to worry about it at all.

‘Great. So, it’s only two of us tonight then.’

‘Yeah, just us.’ Stefan agreed but Rash still was under impression that something was off. He didn’t like that and for a moment he wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he didn’t say a word. In the end, he wasn’t even sure if they were such good friends. They just lived together, worked together ocasioally. Sometimes they were hanging out or watching movies. But that was all.

(Rash decided to forget about the other things, like he’s stupid habit to wait for Stefan to come home before going to sleep. He just wanted to make sure that his roommate was okay, that was called friendly concern.)

 

**ii.**

Something was really wrong with Stefan and Rash stopped pretending that he didn’t notice or didn’t care. For the past few weeks Stefan clearly wasn’t himself; he looked as if he lost half of his cheerfull energy that used to annoy Rash so much (but now he missed his stupid enthusiasm about everything and his singing Polish songs in a shower at six am).

He tried asking, of course. But Stefan was always giving him a smile that wasn’t as sunny as usual and bringing up the cheesiest of excuses. Work. Headache. More work. He almost wasn’t leaving his room and they were days when Rash didn’t even see him, and sometimes Rash was catching himself on missing him. Which was stupid and annoying, and Rash hated that.

But what he hated more was watching Stefan coming home and going straight to his room, closing the door behind him. Rash sometimes knocked, offering dinner or a movie, but Stefan was already mostly asleep (or pretending to be asleep). Usually Rash would give up and go to spend time by himself.

But this time Rash decided he was done with that.

‘Seriously, Stefan, open the door.’

Silence.

‘Open the door or I swear, I’ll break it.’

Quiet shifting, but the door remained closed. Rash felt his blood rushing in his veins, anger growing up inside of him.

‘Okay, great, your choice. Better move away.’

That did it.

Stefan opened the door and for a shortest of moments his face lit up with a smile, but in a second that expression was gone, shifted into a blank mask Rash couldn’t read.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asked as if he had no idea and Rash’s level of ager rose dangerously.

‘You tell me.’ Rash answered, crossing his arms on his chest ‘You’re hiding in your room all the time. You’re avoiding me. You don’t get to ask why I’m concerned.’

There was something in Stefan’s eyes when Rash said those words, like shock and something else, something light and warm.

‘You don’t have to be, I’m totally fine.’ Stefan said quickly but Rash wasn’t easy to be fooled. The Pole was avoiding his eyes, looging anywhere but at him, and Rash softened a bit at this sight.

‘Hey.’ he said softly and put his hand on Stefan’s shoulder, but he jerked away violently, Rash’s hand slipping off.

Rash froze and looked at Stefan, who was watching him with something what looked like fear. Rash swallowed, his throat suddenly dry; it was stupid, but Stefan’s reaction kinda felt like a punch to the gust, and he didn’t know what to do with that.

‘Have I done something?’ he asked finally, and Stefan quickly shook his head.

‘No, no.’

‘Then what’s going on?’ Rash asked quietly, searching his roommate’s face for the answer ‘Look, I’m worried about you. And I miss you.’ he didn’t quite think before saying that, so he was surprised when the last sentence left his mouth. But oh well, that was the truth.

Stefan stared at him for what felt like an eternity and then he took a quick step back and slammed the door into his face.

 

* * *

 

**iii.**

Oh God.

Stefan stared at the door that he just had closed right before Rash’s face and he felt as if he could faint at any moment.

He was so screwed.

He could kinda control his feelings when he wasn’t seeing Rash that much, but now, facing him and hearing real concern in his voice, he knew that he couldn’t keep it all inside. It was too hard, and Stefan couldn’t fight his feelings anymore. He rested his forehead against the door, inhaling deeply for a few moments. He had to do it, he knew that.

(Stefan just knew he couldn’t hid there forever, waiting for his feelings to pass. He wasn’t fair towards himslf and maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t fair towards Rash.)

He was a brave Pole, for fuck’s sake, he should be brave.

So he decided to be.

He opened the door and found Rash still standing there, one hand in the air as if he wanted to knock again. He opened his mouth, ready to tell something, but Stefan was quicker, as always.

 

* * *

 

 

**iii.**

Rash blinked, his heart pounding so quickly he could feel it in his ears. His stomach clenched painfully as he understood what had just happened.

Stefan didn’t want to talk to him. Didn’t want to see him. Which supposed to be fine, but it wasn’t, it was far away from fine and Rash had never felt so helpless before.

And it hurt.

Rash had never believed that something like that could cause physical pain, but there he was, staring at the closed door in front of him and feeling painful pressure in his chest.

A few months before Rash would let go. He would turn around and go away, trying to calm his thoughts and feelings with beer and tv. But now he couldn’t. Not with this brand new set of feelings that were flooding his body, scaring the shit out of him. He didn’t understand them fully but he knew he needed to talk to Stefan to figure it out. He just knew.

He raised his hand, ready to knock one more time, when the door opened and Rash saw Stefan’s determined face. Rash opened his mouth, ready to demand and answer, because he really wanted to know what the fuck was going on.

But Stefan was quicker, as always. (Rash hated to admit that, but Stefan was always faster, including their running sessions. He hated that.)

(Only a little.)

(Or not at all.)

‘I think I’m in love with you.’ Stefan said and suddenly there was no air left in Rash’s lungs.

 

* * *

 

**iv.**

‘Well, I don’t think, I’m pretty sure. 100% sure.’ Stefan added quickly, because hell, it wasn’t a thing he could just leave unclear. He needed Rash to understand him, he needed some clarity. His heart was beating so fast he was lowkey scared it would break his ribs or something. (Okay, he knew it was an exaggeration, but oh well, he was a romantic sap now, he could be so dramatic from time to time.)

To be honest, Rash looked as if he just slapped him, staring at him, eyes wide open and mouth slightly parted. (God, he was so beautiful.) Stefan didn’t blame him. He just dropped a bomb on his roommate’s head and he wouldn’t be surpriesed if he punnched him or yelled at him. Hell, he expected that.

But instead, Rash looked as if he was a bit sick and Stefan didn’t know what to do with that.

(Inside him everything hurt and he felt as if he was on fire, everything in his mind was screaming, but he really tried to keep his cool.)

‘You are...’ Rash started, but words were leaving his throat with difficulty which Stefan could clearly hear ‘you’re...’ he stopped, looking at Stefan with these big dark eyes of his, and the Pole felt his heart melting yet again.

‘In love. With you.’ Stefan stated calmly, but his heart almost escaped his chest. It felt surreal. He just had confessed Rash his feelings for him. After such a long time of hiding it, it was so unbelievable. Huh. It felt good, but also it was beyond scary.

(Stefan always trusted Rash with his life, but now he trusted him also with his heart.)

‘Oh.’ it was all what Rash manged to say and Stefan’s heart kinda broke into a thousand of pieces. He still felt a rush of adrenaline from a moment before, but he also felt it fading away, causing his limbs to weaken and his heart to grow heavy.

‘That’s fine.’ he said, taking a step back.

(It wasn’t fine, it was far away from fine, because Stefan’s heart was now shattered and he never expected that to hurt so much.)

‘I don’t want anything from you.’ he added, putting his hand on a door knob.

(Another lie, but he tried so much to make it right for Rash. It wasn’t his fault. None of this was his fault.)

He was about to close the door and drown in a misery when Rash moved quickly, catching him and pushing him against the wall.

 

* * *

 

 

**iv.**

It was all a blur.

When Stefan said these few crazy words Rash felt as if everything froze and only his head was spinning. It was crazy. Ridiculous. Unbelievable. Stefan just confessed his love for him and rational part of Rash’s brain was yelling that he should just walk away. Ignore all of that, maybe punch him later.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Maybe he should feel offended. Maybe he should feel grossesed out, scared, disguested. Instead of that, he felt lost, lost and confused, because he wasn’t feeling any of this things at all.

‘It’d fine.’ he heard Stefan saying, and it felt as if it was coming from far away ‘I don’t want anything from you.’

These words kicked Rash out from the blur he was in. He knew he couldn’t let Stefan disappear, not now. He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t. (He knew why, but he was too scared and too confused to admit it just in that very moment.) So he let his muscles react, the same why he relayed on his instinct while working.

That was why he caught Stefan’s wrist and pushed him agaist the wall of his room.

Stefan gasped in surprise when his back hit the wall but he didn’t move, staring into Rash’s eyes and oh, Rash couldn’t help but lean forward, his face barely inches from Stefan’s face.

He didn’t know what was happening anymore. It was like his body was betraying him, acting without his will, but at the same time it all felt right and good, and scary. (Exciting.)

Rash suddely knew what he wanted, what he needed, and he said that without hesitation, the same time Stefan _had said the words._

‘I want to kiss you.’ he blurted out, his voice hoarse and breathless, and he could clearly see Stefan’s wide opened eyes and he could feel how his fists clenched on Rash’s shirt.

And Rash kissed him, and it was so much more that he could have ever imagined. (He never thought about it, to be honest. Now he wished he had, because it felt so amazing he’s knees were trembling and he forgot how to breathe. It had never happened before.)

Stefan gasped under the pressure of Rash’s lips, kissing him back with fire that Rash had never seen in him. Stefan’s lips parted, letting their tongues meet and Rash could feel a shudder of Stefan’s body pressed to his, could hear his quiet moan against his mouth. It was all fire and passion, and Rash didn’t expect he had that in him.

(It tasted like freedom.)

When they pulled away, Rash rested his forehead against Stefan’s, breathing heavily. He still wasn’t sure of everything, but he was sure of some things.

 

* * *

 

 

**v.**

Rash was pressing him against the wall and Stefan’s mind went blank.

Then he kissed him, and after a moment of being frozen Stefan kissed him out, a voice in a back of his mind screaming that he might not have another chance. So he buried one of his hands in Rash’s hair, pulling him closer and kissing him with all power he had. He switched off all his thoughts, unable to stop or pull away. (He didn’t want to, ever.)

But eventually they had to pull away, their foreheads resting against each other and Stefan decided that just wouldn’t open his eyes. He had this awful, cold feeling that Rash would back off at any moment, leave, change his mind, whatever it was. And Stefan just didn’t want to see that, so he would just stay like that, unmoving.

He waited. And waited. And nothing happened.

Stefan slowly, carefully opened his eyes and he immediately met Rash’s intense gaze. (Seriously, it was so intense Stefan almost closed his eyes again, but somehow he managed to keep them opened.)

Rash’s eyes were serious, Stefan had seen that so many times, but it was the first time he was looking at Stefan like that. Like he was one of the mysteries Rash had to solve.

And finally, after what felt like forever Rash spoke, his voice low and hoarse.

‘I might be in love with you too, I think.’

‘You think.’ Stefan miserably failed at trying to say it jokingly. It was like his heart wanted to jump out of his chest, pounding stronly and quickly.

(To be honest, Stefan had no idea what was going on. Rash had just kissed him. And might be in love with him, kinda. What. What.)

Then Rash licked his lips and Stefan almost got a hearattack.

‘I think I’ve to kiss you again. Is that okay?’

It was okay.

(And it was a really stupid question.) 

 

* * *

 

**v.**

He kissed Stefan and suddenly he had all the answers.

Seriosuly, he was a shitty detective for not realising it sooner.

‘I might be in love with you too, I think.’ he finally said and it felt right. Light. True.

‘You think?’ Stefan asked in a pathetic try to be funny and Rash felt warm inside, laught starting to bububble in a back of his throat.

‘I think I’ve to kiss you again.’ Rash said and didn’t even try not to look at Stefan’s lips ‘Is that okay?’

 (Apparently it was totally okay, because they weren’t speaking for the next ten minutes.)

‘Oh my God, I was so miserable.’ Stefan sighed when they finally pulled away ‘I was going out of my mind.’

‘Well I was going out of my mind too, trying to figure out what the hell was happening with you.’ Rash admitted, one of his hands ghosting over the back of Stefan’s neck. He was feeling as if he could stay like that forever, just looking at Stefan, touching him.

Who whould have thought that someday he would fall in love with this irresponsible, annoying cheerful Pole, who had eyes brighter than any light and smile so radiant it was warmer than the sun.

(Damn it, Stefan was making him soft.)

(He didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Love you all :)


End file.
